The Confession of Ted Olson: I Know Where Barbara Is (Satire)

[Dean]

I know where Barbara is.

You truthers have made many good discoveries:

You know there were no calls from her from Flight 77.

You know there was no Flight 77.

I can only help you so much before the people who were behind the event pay me a visit.

Here are some questions to consider:

Why do you think I lied about the phone calls?

Did I come up with this idea on my own or did someone persuade me?

Who was that "someone"?

Did I make a deal or was something forced on me?

What does it mean to make a deal?

If there was no Flight 77, doesn’t that mean there were no passengers?

If the people said to be Flight 77 passengers were not passengers, what were they?

If the people (or at least one) were real people and not fake identities, where did they go?

If they went somewhere, did they go willingly?

If they went unwillingly, to whom did they answer?

Would that be the person or group of people with whom I made a deal?

What was the deal?

OK.  I have said enough.  You can figure the rest of this out.

[Dr. J. P. Hubert]

Great job Dean.